I’m a piece of shit
January 16, 2016
Tales from the childhood
We grew up outside of Corpus Christi. The town is spread out and Annaville was a 25 minute drive from any sort of fun. When me and my buddies turned 16 we had access to all the fun. Most weekends we would count up our change and head to Super Track Grand Prix. It was the go-cart track located on North Beach. After a night of racing we would buzz through downtown on our way back to Annaville. We were famous for driving by someone on the street and hollering out nonsense. It was always just random crap. To us it was harmless fun. To the guy who stepped out of the Omni hotel it was, uh, something else. We thought he was just standing on the street but he was actually moments away from being picked up.
In short we yelled at the wrong dude.
We were quickly in a car chase. We were the ones trying to get away. From downtown we ran uptown and then we hit a red light. To stay out of trouble I stopped at the light that had changed. I slammed it in reverse and nothing. I fumbled as this big ass specimen stepped out and yelled “What the fuck did you say?” We tried to play it cool. The only thing Danny yelled was “Hey man, nice job!” After my 3rd apology in 10 seconds I got the idea an apology would not be accepted. He then said, “You are a piece of shit. Now tell me you are a piece of shit” so I answered with the best “I’m a piece of shit!” I could belt out. Guessing by his returning to his car I had passed the test. It was official I was a piece of shit. We b-lined it for the house so we could go clean our under britches.
So if you ever find yourself in a jam and need out, just proclaim you are a piece of shit and you just might go free.