Don’t Ask, Just Do.
August 15, 2015
My one year diagnosis is approaching and I’m facing my 3rd quarterly (clean) scan. I say clean scan because that is what we have been praying for. My hip hurts some and I’ve been tired lately but very optimistic about the future. Work has been great and plentiful.
At the start of the month my good friend Jeff Durrwachter messaged wanting to know when my cancer-versary was. I said August 26th and he said great I’m taking you out to eat. Well, he offered a lot more but we settled on food.
Way Back When
Back in 2000 I was Jeff’s best man for his wedding. We have a great friendship and over the past year it has only gotten better. He was on my short list when I was first diagnosed, and one of the first folks who made it to the house. He and his wife were there to comfort us on one of our darkest days. We thank them dearly for that.
Jeff and I first bonded during freshman basketball trips while listening to crappy rap music on the bus. In the above photo you can see me in the #22 and Jeff in #31 jerseys. You can read about one of our adventures in the post “1/2 drunk and on a bike to Big Tree” Jeff is one of those guys who know everything but isn’t a smart ass about it. He can be an ass about other things, but when it comes to him being a human version of Google he is cool about it. When everyone was asking me,
- “What do you need?”
- “How can we help?”
- “What can I do for you?”
Jeff refrained from asking. I’m glad he did because I didn’t know what the answer was.
I didn’t know what my needs were. Almost a year into this and I’m still not sure what my needs are.
I did know that he was there for my family and he just did things. I also utilized him as a video shooter for Big Box Pro. He jumped right in and made things possible when I was taking chemotherapy treatments at M.D. Anderson.
He would let me know he was going to take care of cutting my lawn. He would be at my home anytime I needed to go for a scan and wanted to have Kendra there with me. He took care of my three little ones and we felt very comfortable.
There is no way I can repay Jeff or his wife Sonya for their time and their consideration towards my family. I just hope his example of a friend of a cancer patient can shed some light on what you can do to support. If you know someone with cancer don’t ask them what you can do because they are trying to figure out their new life and might not know what they need. Just go do something.
Each doctor I met mentioned stress was a major factor in folks who got cancer. Go out and do something to relive someones stress.
Other Cancer Angels
There were days when I would open the mail box and a gift-card would be there. Other times there would be get well cards or the occasional flower arrangement.
I just want to go on record and let you know I’m not dead yet and a guy getting flowers only happens at funerals in my world. Flowers might be something to put on a woman cancer fighter list of things to do.
Some gave small cash and others shipped me organic food supplements. It was small, thoughtful and in the end powerful. The little reminders that folks were thinking of me and my family did wonders. You guys and gals stepped up and made me feel loved. Thank you for that.
So a big thank you to to my best friend Jeff D. I will do my best to repay you one day. Thanks for being a better friend than I deserve, and the butt of many photoshop jokes.