A Bad Hair Day

During this cancer process there have been a few things that have made it more real. There is a lot of denial that takes place. I have tried to be real about everything that is going on but sometimes you sit there and hope the doctors have it all wrong. You hope that the scan comes back negative and your life will jump back to normal. After my first MRI scan I could not get through another scan without shedding a tear. Each and every test or scan brought me closer and closer to putting the denial away and accepting the fact I do have cancer and this is my new life.

After all my scans and biopsy work, my next hurdle was walking into my hospital room. Up to that point I had been diagnosed but not treated for cancer. Now that I was there at the door threshold I was still thinking, “If they don’t hook me up to that machine, if they don’t start pushing chemo, I don’t have cancer.

My first run of chemotherapy came and went and I’m starting to realize I might have cancer. While in my stay at M.D. Anderson everyone kept asking if I still had all my hair. Knowing they were pushing hard chemo on me I knew it was going to come out somewhere down the line. I told Kendra one day in the hospital about my fear of my hair coming out. I didn’t have a fear of walking around with a bald head, but the fact I can still deny cancer up till that day.

That day is here!

So I was brushing my teeth and I decided to wet my hair and style it. I quickly noticed a few extra hairs in the sink. Oh crap, I’m loosing my hair. I know I have no choice of how my body reacts to chemotherapy but I was hoping to be one of the chosen ones who keeps their hair. I know this was just wishful thinking and that if I loose my hair its not the end of the world because I still have life. Check me out in this little video clip.

So there you have it, I’m back to being bald. This was my choice hair cut my senior year in high-school. Due to loss of weight and loss of hair I’m back to the same style and weight I was when I started my senior year.

So there you have it, the answer is YES I will loose my hair. Yes, I have cancer and yes I’m fighting everyday.

Thanks for the prayers

Derrick Perrin, the bald guy.